It Starts!
(Too bad it put everyone to sleep immediately after).
____________________________________________________
Storytelling: 2/5 stars-there was no story, so at least it couldn't embarrass
Match Quality: 1/5 stars
Finish: 3/5 stars
Winner: 2/5 stars
Extracurriculars: 1/5 stars
TOTAL: 9/25 stars
Great Moment You May Have Forgotten: King Harley Race playing the "acrobat" of the match.
Moment You Wish You Weren't Reminded Of: Nikolai Volkoff running out a number early, and just standing around for 2 minutes like an idiot.
_______________________________________________
I really tried to place this match higher than the bottom of the barrel, considering the factor that it was the first attempt at the match and the WWE really did not know what they were doing with the Royal Rumble concept. But I couldn't, for it was just too poorly worked a match and so incredibly boring that the Junk Yard Dog's pop during the last entrance is my highlight of it almost being over.
This match seemed doomed from the start, with most of the big names in the WWE not willing to compete in this experimental idea. Vince hit the jackpot with the plan of an over the top elimination match, but bombed in not using Hulk, Andre, Savage, and other mega stars from competing. If you exclude Bret Hart, who was not yet the legend we know now, the biggest name on the card was Jake Roberts, who although made the first elimination to Butch Reed to a big pop, was not able to perform his trademark DDT, a theme that would become common for him in future Rumbles.
So instead we got 20 scrubs greats such as "Dangerous" Danny Davis, Sam Houston, Ron Bass, the Killer Bees, and Boris Zhukov all performing their signature move: the punch. It's as if all twenty forgot how to wrestle and just figure punches would knock someone out of the ring. The most athletic move was a then 45 year old (and not like today's 45 year olds) Harley Race dangling on the ropes by his feet a few times. Punch, punch, punch, oh wait a clothesline, punch and a scoop slam while slow rolling eliminations occurred. Every wrestler was just uninspired and seemed like they didn't want to be in the Rumble, and it showed. So yea the in ring work sucked.
But at least Vince can redeem himself by making a medium star win, like Roberts or Hart, or an emerging Ultimate Warrior, or hell...even a good heel like One Man Gang or Dino for heat. Nope, let's go with Jim Duggan, who really didn't need or do anything with the win. Again, I understand it was a large experiment at the time, but that means you should take risks just in case it pans out in its current format. Granted, the finish is kinda well done, with the two-on-one attack of Gang and Bravo creating a seemingly hopeless chance for Duggan, but still a wrong choice by most standards.
While it wasn't as offensive as other some Rumble outcomes later on, there is just nothing there to make the crowd care at all. Frankly, I'm surprised the Rumble survived this snoozefest. The match was awful, the announcing was non existent, and the winner was wrong. The only reason this is better than 1995 is because they should've known what they were doing was awful during that year, this was the experiment and it failed, albeit not enough to thankfully try again annually...so a big thank you to this match for existing at least.
You can watch/take a nap during the 1988 Rumble here. Tomorrow we look at another early (pre Flair win) Royal Rumble with all sorts of wrong, including part one of Hogan being Hogan. Enjoy.
